The Great Toothbrush Standoff…

My dad's obsession with ordering things from TV was legendary. He always had a notepad handy to jot down the 800 numbers, along with his credit card at the ready. Packages arrived constantly at their condo. He once ordered a dehydrator to make his own beef jerky and a recharging system for batteries. The latter was meant for rechargeable batteries, but he thought it worked on all batteries. So, he’d collect old batteries, supposedly recharge them, and then give them to me—only for me to discover they were still dead. I'd just laugh and think, "Oh my goodness, this is my father!"

One day, he ordered a special toothbrush for my mother. My dad wore dentures, having lost all his teeth to oral cancer at a young age, so he didn't need a toothbrush himself. But he was convinced my mom could benefit from this latest TV marvel: an ionic toothbrush with a little metal plate. According to the instructions, you had to wet your finger, place it on the plate, and then brush your teeth. The toothbrush promised to remove all plaque due to its reverse polarity.

My mother was skeptical. When he explained the procedure, she immediately asked, "What if it electrocutes me, Bill?"

He reassured her, "It's not going to electrocute you. It's just going to reverse the polarity so that the plaque comes off your teeth and goes onto the toothbrush."

She thought for a moment and then said, "What if it's just plaque that's holding my teeth in? I'm not sure I want to use this thing... all my teeth might fall out!"

Despite my dad’s reassurances, the toothbrush sat unused in her bathroom for years. Every time he asked about it, she’d wave her hand dismissively and say, "Maybe later, Bill. I'm not ready to be a science experiment just yet!"

My dad would just shake his head and laugh, knowing that was just her silly way of dealing with his latest TV gadget. The ionic toothbrush became a running joke in our family, a reminder of my dad's endless faith in infomercials and my mom's equally endless skepticism.